Carolyn Denton Palmer (1935-2023)

Ms. Carolyn Denton Palmer of Elizabeth, New Jersey, beloved mother, grandmother, friend, and co-worker, passed away peacefully on January 9, 2023. Carolyn—Mom and Grammy to her family—lived proudly in Elizabeth in the home that she was raised in, creating a welcoming and warm atmosphere for all who entered. The table was always set for Sunday lunches—usually Dara's unless they were on vacation—and for decades prior on holidays, during which the front door was open, the food kept coming, and mirth filled every corner of the house. Current events, politics, and history, particularly family history, were always the foundations for lively conversations. An indefatigable Democrat, Carolyn was ever sharp and remarkably informed.

Carolyn was born in Elizabeth in 1935 to Ida E. and Charles B. Denton. She spent her childhood summers barefoot along the lake in Browns Mills, New Jersey, and her grandmother fancied a singing career for young Carolyn as Lyn Emery. Although Carolyn didn't have much of a singing voice, and as a result no future as a female crooner, she wrote her own songs in the key of life, and so very many hummed her tunes.

She attended Battin High School in Elizabeth and then went on to Drexel University, where she was a member of Delta Sigma Epsilon and served on the editorial staff of the Drexel Triangle, the University's newspaper, graduating in 1957 with a bachelor's degree in Business Administration. She married Randy Palmer the same year and had two children, Lucinda Denton Palmer in 1958 and David Randolph Palmer in 1961, devotedly raising them in Elizabeth as a single, working mother following the end of her marriage. Carolyn always made her children feel loved and supported, in the leanest times and most challenging of circumstances, of which her daughter's untimely death in 1980 was paramount. Carolyn's devotion to her community and family, particularly her children and grandchildren, was evident to all throughout her adult life. Exemplary of her devotion is the Lucinda Denton Palmer Memorial Fund, providing annual scholarships to outstanding graduating high school students in Elizabeth in honor of her late daughter, administered lovingly with Lucinda's best friend, Elisa Aylward, of Mountainside.

Professionally, Carolyn worked for a time in publishing, then transitioned to executive assistance at law firms in New York City and an insurance agency in New Jersey. It is the latter position that led her to the love of her life, Richard Carlson—another Elizabeth native—with whom she shared her home and a lifetime's worth of memories until his passing in 1999.

However, it was Carolyn's decades-long public service in New Jersey that weaved the most colorful tapestry of her professional life, and about which she reminisced often and fondly in her post-retirement years.

Carolyn began working for the Union County Office of the County Counsel as the Executive Assistant to William J. McCloud in 1976. She worked there from 1976 to 1982, after which she left the County and joined the staff of former Union County Manager George Albanese who was named by Governor Thomas Kean to be the Commissioner of the New Jersey Department of Human Services.

Carolyn served Commissioner Albanese as his Executive Assistant until his resignation to pursue other opportunities in 1985. She continued to serve as Executive Assistant to Acting Commissioner Geoffrey Perselay until mid-1986, when Mr. Perselay resigned to pursue other opportunities.

Carolyn remained with the Department of Human Services until 1988, when she joined the staff of Hudson County Administrator Geoffrey Perselay as his Executive Assistant. She was a major force in assisting with many governmental reforms that were instituted during Mr. Perselay's seven-year tenure as County Administrator. After his departure in 1995, Carolyn continued to serve as the Executive Assistant to the County Administrator for many years until her retirement in 2001.

In her later years, the fiercely independent, perpetually busy, always decorous, and exquisitely tasteful Carolyn spent cherished time with her family and friends, read avidly, stayed active in the Drexel Alumni community, cooked a mean lasagna, grew delicious tomatoes and figs in her backyard, gave Irvington Avenue's birds the cleanest bath around, always had fresh brownies baked and fancy jelly beans in the candy dishes, and gave the most thoughtful and perfect gifts—always including books—on every birthday and holiday. She loved movies from Hollywood's Golden Age, an impressive range of music from the 40s to classic rock, the New York Giants, posting on Facebook about Trump (a.k.a. "the Orange Man"), her dear cats, and all things Jersey, especially sweet white corn. Her indomitable spirit and beauty truly live on through her adored and adoring family—son, David Randolph Palmer and his wife Dana March Palmer of New York City, and grandchildren Lucinda Rose Palmer, David Denton Palmer, Gloria Ehrlich Palmer, and Alexandra Land Palmer—and treasured friends who had the pleasure and honor of knowing and therefore loving her.

Visitation will be held in the Leonard-Lee Funeral Home 301 E. Blancke Street Linden, NJ on Friday, January 13, 2023 from 4pm to 8pm and on Saturday from 9am to 10am with the interment to follow in Evergreen Cemetery, Hillside, NJ.

In lieu of flowers (gifts of tax-deductible donations to) THE LUCINDA DENTON PALMER MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIP FUND (please make checks payable to) L D P Memorial Fund, 210 W. 96th St Apt #6, New York, NY 10025 would be greatly appreciated.